It doesn't come as trippingly off the tongue as lions, tigers and bears, but it does describe the current situation in the Palmetto state. Hell, Oz couldn't be much stranger than our little state. And yes, I included "bad drivers" in my unholy paean to Dorothy and the crew; mostly to fill out the bill, and partly because, if you've had the pleasure to visit our beautiful little corner of the world by auto, you probably noticed the precipitous decline in driving IQ the moment you crossed the border. There's granny in the passing lane doing 50, and frickin' Richard Petty passing her on the right, shooting the finger and questioning her lineage. But I digress. What more can be said of our love struck governor? You know, he of the sophomoric email composed along the Argentinian trail. Mark Sanford may not be Edward the VIII and Maria Chapur may (or may not be) be foxier than Wallis Simpson , but Three Ball Dead believes that Markie boy is likely to spread on a little Clearasil and bolt for South America: giving up the governorship, the run for prez and his beleaguered wife's tool money. Nobody ever accused us Carolinians of great judgemental abilities. See the beginning of the Civil War.
And finally, a serial killer stalks the fine people of Gaffney (which down here could be a guy named Bubba with a Glock, going through a messy divorce that ends with the beleaguered wife - see above -getting custody of the F150). So far he's randomly killed 5 seemingly unrelated people in this town of 10,000. As we go to press, word has it that Gaston County NC police (twenty miles north of Gaffney) killed a man this morning during a burglary attempt. The man apparently matches the description of the killer...and so does his vehicle. Too bad a Gaffneyian with good aim didn't get the opportunity to clip this hump.
Many thanks to my compatriots for commenting while I vacated this past week. Meanwhile, I return completely unrested and, in fact, on the very verge of exhaustion. Here's to my Vera Wang mattress and the friendly confines of home sweet home.
Hopefully this killers run has come to an end. Tragic that it even started.
ReplyDeleteWhy so unrested, Larry? I hope you enjoyed your time away.
ReplyDeleteVERA WANG MATTRESS???
I, on the other hand, am not going to comment on the name of the mattress, (he said cleverly).
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, Larry. I'm bailing out for a couple of weeks myself, starting Thursday.
Bryan: You asked for it...you got it. He was killed in a shoot out yesterday.
ReplyDeleteZ: LOL! Shamefully...I exagerate concerning my state of restfulness. As for Vera Wang, she is a famous wedding dress designer. She teamed up with Serta Mattress to market a line of mattresses (some very pricey) in which I have one. It is fantabulous!
ECI: The wife and I sleep with (actually on) Vera Wang every night. See explanation to Z above. Have a great vacation! But don't come south, the mosquitos are vulture sized this year. Crikey!
With the three you list in your post title and the other nut-jobs populating the planet these days (privately and publicly), I´m with you and Dorothy - to continue the homage; There´s no place like home.
ReplyDeleteHey, if you ever decide to put your Vera Wang mattress in a Vera Wang wedding dress and your wife finds out, just don´t go blubbering about it all over the news, ok?
Rest up amigo.
Mike: Sanford has his Argentine hottie...and I've got my mattress named for an Asian designer babe...I'll heed your advice, I'm keeping my mouth shut concerning the details of the relationship. LOL!
ReplyDeleteGaffney... hmmm... a giant posterior shapped like a peach comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteDan: You've been there!!? I shouldn't be surprised, the Peachoid is known far and wide!
ReplyDeleteI used to have a girlfriend that lived in Greer many many years ago. She was a student at Furman. (a long distance relationship)
ReplyDeleteSo that's how you know the Peach!
ReplyDeleteI have an office in Taylors (near Greer) and I live about 10 minutes from Furman...If you ever make it back to this part of the world...you may not want to visit the old girlfriend (assuming she's still residing here), but you can come and visit my family and me. :-)
Sure, I know Vera Wang (gorgeous) bridal (and ice skating) creations...but MATTRESSES?
ReplyDeleteSO, Mr and Mrs Durham and Wang, huh? gee, Larry! WHO KNEW!
Vera must have branched out Z! I think Vera's contribution is designing the mattress tops. In any event, I love my Vera Wang! Not as much as Mrs. Durham of course.
ReplyDelete